A few years ago, I went to see David Sedaris at a book signing. As a requirement for getting his signature, we first had to provide him with a joke. Of course, I choked and couldn’t think of any good ones, so I defaulted to the old “two tomatoes were crossing the road” standard. When I was done, he blinked, then said “how about I tell you a joke instead?”

The joke he told me was this one: Why is Jesus such a bad lover? Because he’s always trying to come into your heart.

(h/t: Scotteriology)